I’m convinced of two things. First, we all desire to be more authentic in our lives. Second, we give up because this whole getting-to-know ourselves thing is damn hard work. It’s also the most important work we’ll ever do. Authenticity is the ability to share the...
The media knows what sells—negativity. Newspapers, social media, and TV broadcasts can smell it in the air like a wild animal, nose upturned to pinpoint the threat. The coronavirus pandemic and other recent events have sharpened the media’s instincts to a whip-thin...
Question: “What should I do with my life?” Answer: “Follow your passion.” Gag. “Follow your passion” advice is like putting a bandaid on cancer; it’s ineffective because it’s a trite response to a deep question. Like all bad advice, follow your passion rears its ugly...
I have always been intrigued by empathy because it helps people read the minds of others, something that came in handy as an FBI agent. When I listened to another person’s words and read their body language, I could piece together their thoughts and emotions. Empathy...
Childhood can be a mixed bag. We can bitch and moan because ours was not perfect, but guess what? No one’s childhood is perfect. Even worse, it’s not supposed to be perfect. It’s the first place we discover how to overcome obstacles and move through adversity. It’s...
I will never forget the first day I ever shot a gun. I was on the firing line at the FBI Academy and holding a Smith & Wesson .38 revolver. My heart raced as I wiped the sweat from my palms. I was filled with uncertainty and fear, worried that I wouldn’t shoot...
As a retired female FBI agent, I take umbrage at the assumption that professional women don’t have what it takes to move their career to the next level. The implications are that women need special assistance, or that standards of the position need to be lowered so...
After 20 years of working counterintelligence cases, I was asked to become the spokesperson for the FBI in Northern California. My first reaction was “No”—I was very comfortable in my position as a case agent. By this time, I knew every step in the manual and had my...
The thing about stress is that no amount of money can make it go away. In fact, money can actually increase your stress level. Your stress might spike over noble concerns that include climate change, terrorism, and political turmoil. Or, even more likely, your stress...
To embrace risk means to move into a situation that involves exposure to danger. In the case of an FBI investigation, it could mean a drawn weapon. For entrepreneurs, it could mean how to challenge the competition or start a new business. For family members, it could...
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